


First steps

by meikahidenori



Series: Thunderbirds Are Go Smut - 18+ archive [3]
Category: thunderbirds are go
Genre: 18+, Brother/Brother Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 08:07:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meikahidenori/pseuds/meikahidenori
Summary: Fan RequestThis was written mostly via my phone and my tablet so if there's spelling mistakes ect they're going to be far more obvious here





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a long hard day, Virgil was dirty, tired and frustrated things didn’t go according to plan. He chose to fly straight home instead of joining his other brothers for a celebratory dinner of another successful rescue, one that Virgil though was a damn miracle that no one had died.

Clomping mud through the house on his boots, he made his way upstairs for the bathroom that he and his brother's shared. There was another two in the house, one was for Kayo and Grandma’s use only and the other Brains used as they all learned the hard way that the engineer had bathroom habits that were extremely anal retentive. .. and there were times after a long rescue you didn't have the energy to scrub the bathroom top to bottom after you spent hours trying to get the smell of smoke, ash or blood off your skin.

Virgil tugged at his boots and tossed them at the door before entering the bathroom, remotely not bothered to care where they landed or if they left marks all up the wall. He would worry about it later, after all when the others came home there would be twice as much mud anyway. Frustrated, he tore the zip on his overalls and swore, pulling at the teeth of it till they came apart. He’d need another uniform, that had been the second one he had ruined within a month. He peeled out if it and out of the t shirt that was underneath, glared at his grubby face in the mirror before discarding his boxers too.

Stepping into the hot water of the shower he closed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair, slicking it all back from his face. Grabbing the soap he started to lather up, only being rather harsh scrubbing his hands and face where most if the muck was visible.  Thank the gods for full body uniforms.

Virgil took his time, afterall he was all alone - no one was going to be home for another few hours, chances were after stuffing themselves with food they go blow off steam at the local arcade before coming home. His sore muscles needed attention and he was going to give it to them.

Man, it felt good.

He was tense all over and this… this was glorious.

“Mmmm…” 

He leaned his back against the wall when he started in his thighs, really working his fingers into the deep tissue.

“Nuuhh…”  he mumbled.

There was one other thing he could do to relax, he did gave the privacy.

He tilted his head back into the flow of the water, letting his hands do all the work by feel. There was an art to this sort of relaxation, too gentle you'd be there all day,  too rough and you could be sore in the groin days later. Virgil, after alot of self experimenting, had worked out exactly how he liked to be touched. Too bad he knew no one to impart this information onto, the life of an International Rescue operative was a dateless and lonely one in the romance and sex department.

He stiffened. The bathroom door was being opened.

But how? Wasn't everyone at some dumb fast food restaurant in Italy somewhere?

He wiped some of the steam off the glass to see who it was.

John didn’t care someone was in the shower. He was trying not to fall asleep on his feet. He had touched down right after the rescue was deemed complete and had passed out on his bed from exhaustion. After an hour or so he had forced himself to get up and get out if his uniform, attempt brushing his teeth and crawl back to bed. 

Virgil heard his brother swear. Someone, presumably Gordon had been using his toothbrush again. He relaxed. John couldn't  give a rat's arse what people did in the shower, there was every chance that he had seen it all before anyway and was one of the few siblings who wasn't afraid to make breakfast in the kitchen  in nothing but a towel…. In front of everyone.

That's what living alone up on the space station did to you, Virgil assumed. It threw a lot of inhibitions out the window.

John didn’t take long, he was out as quick as he stumbled in.

Good. Back to ‘Me time.’

Virgil tried to get into the zone again, and frowned when he heard a thump followed by swearing in the hallway.

Shutting off the shower, Virgil wrapped a towel around himself and stepped out of the bathroom. John was trying to untangle his legs from falling over Virgil's muddy boots.

“You really know how to ruin a peaceful moment of privacy, don't you?”

“Shouldn't leave your gear in the way.” John muttered.

“Seriously, the clumsy one in the family who doesn't watch where he's going is telling me off for taking off my boots. What do you want me to do? Wear them in the shower with me?”

John frowned. “At least I have the decency to hide a boner.”

“Yeah well this was my alone time, I don't get it often. Unlike you who has all the privacy in the world up in that tin-can of yours.” Virgil was frustrated and was more than happy to take it out in John, especially if he was going to dish it back. “You probably have tons of porn up there to make use of in your downtime.”

“Are you done yet, or is fighting with me making your bits stiffer? Can't say it's doing it for me.” John then caved. “Look I just wanted to sleep in a proper bed for a few hours. I don’t care if you're inclined to spend your spare time  jerking your own gerkin, ok? At least you can give yourself one.”

He stood up and fixed his jumper that doubled as a long PJ top that hid everything under it leaving everyone to believe he didn't wear pants to bed.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Virgil snapped.

John pushed Virgil against the hallway wall, his body pressed right up against his brothers. He wasn't strong enough to hold him there but Virgil was taken by surprise.

“It means after having low blood pressure for three weeks in a row, I can't get a fucking erection, ok?” John hissed in his face. “I've only got a few hours before I have to go back on duty for another three week stint, and in between that there isn't enough time to get enough blood pressure to stop the world fucking spinning, let alone get myself a fucking hard on.” Virgil yelped as one of John's hands gently brushed its way under the towel and gave him a squeeze. “Just think yourself lucky.”

He then let go, unpinned Virgil and headed for his bedroom.

FFFFUUUCK… Virgil growled. No wonder John had so many problems, it wasn't just his head that was affected by space… his libido was too. Clearly he could do with more than just a few days off work… he needed a whole box of Viagra pills.

And yet for a few brief seconds, Virgil realised, he didn't mind his brother had his hand on his privates. That… that was new and unexpected. He had never once felt vulnerable like that before, and it… it felt rather pleasing, to say the least. Maybe… would it be possible to trick John into doing that again? It was a strange sensation… suddenly wanting to submit to someone - his older brother - just to have him help jerk off.

John crashed onto his bed, letting out a groan. He shouldn't  have done that...but he wasn't remotely thinking on a full operating system. Of all the things to argue about with Virgil it had to be something sexual that even he had to admit, had been  non-existent. Did he really think John jerks off in space? It would be far easier if he could, he wouldn't keep having mood swings as bad as they were. Sex, he had decided, happened to ‘other people’.

He could feel a shadow looming over him. “What do you want from me Virgil? If it's an apology you can forget it.”

He rolled over and saw Virgil standing there still in the towel. 

“Seriously?”

“John….”

“What?”

“It was me who's  been using your toothbrush, I stopped when i accidentally knocked it into the toilet.”

John lept at him, crashing both of them to the floor. Sitting  on top he growled,  “Where should I start punching the crap out of you?”

“Or how about I do… THIS!” Virgil pulled in John's jumper, forcing him down low enough to kiss him. John tried to pull away, but Virgil was far broader, muscular and stronger, able to hold him where he wanted him.

When he needed to breathe,  Virgil purred. “Touch me like you  did before.”

“What? No! I was being an arsehole!”

“THEN BE AN ARSEHOLE AGAIN PLEASE!” Virgil raised his voice so it boomed. “I need you to do that to me again!”

“Why?” 

“Because it felt good, made me excited and more horny.”

“Fuck Virgil.”

“That's what I had in mind!”

“Seriously?” John snapped. “You're my brother!”

“I don't care and there's no one else around right now to find out. If you don't,  then I'm going to on you because clearly you're deprived and need reminding of what it's like!”

He rolled on top if John pinning his arms down. For the first time it occurred to him what he was doing, rather than having John willingly feel him up like before, he was now trying to force him. The telling sign was the way John was trying not to look at him. He let go and sat up across his brother's torso,

“Shit, what the fuck am I thinking? I'm sorry John, I got carried away.” Virgil tried to save face. “Man… for a second back there, I thought…. Shit I'm sorry.”

John chanced a glance up at Virgil. “Sorry for invading your personal space before, Virgil. It won't happen again.” he said quietly.

“John....” Virgil breathed calmly. “ I meant every word of that, you know? I really do...I do want you to touch me there.” 

Feeling silly, he got up off John and readjusted the falling towel getting ready to leave.

“Virgil?”

Virgil sighed and turned around to face John, who was now picking himself off the floor. “What?”

“Come here.” John indicated to him to sit on the bed  near the large mirror that was in his bedroom. They all had one, but John's was the only one that was used to hang clothes on instead of its intended purpose. “Sit.”

Virgil obeyed, sitting down so he faced the reflective surface. John pulled the clothing off so he could see himself. John then clamored onto the bed behind him, wrapped his long legs around Virgil and then said, “Watch your reflection.”

Virgil watched as John moved the towel so that everything could be seen. 

“I hope you don't mind watching yourself being pampered.” John whispered softly in his ear. “You need to know how good you look.”

“Huh?” Virgil blinked. 

John slowly snaked his hands around Virgil's waist, stroking him with his fingernails and caressing with the tips of his fingers, sending shivers down his spine.

“I've seen you in the shower a few times.” John muffled a chuckle. Can't lie that I haven't watched once or twice when I've needed distractions.”

Virgil licked his lips as he was nervous about what he had gotten himself into now. 

“Don't worry, this has never crossed my mind before. I meant every word I said before about not being able to get like this. I've watched because I wished that I could. I'm sorry.”

John's hands ran up and down along Virgil's thighs before moving into where he wanted.

“Tell me how you like it.” John whispered, kissing Virgil on his naked shoulders. His grip was firm, but not hard enough to hurt him.

“Uhh… wow….” Virgil couldn't help himself. Maybe deprivation had its perks? The way John's hands moved, it felt like he was using Virgil as an extension of what he would want it to be like on himself. He found himself  leaning all his weight back onto John, letting himself enjoy being taken care of by such expert hands.

He also let John tease, kiss and nip at his shoulders, neck and ears. For some reason just doing those few things made the sensation of his brothers touch more sensitive and intense than he could ever do in his own.

“John…”

“Just a little more.”

“I don't think…. I don't think I can much longer.”

“Just a little more, promise it won't be forever.” and with that  John moved from his seat and around the front onto his knees. He breathed out. “Please don't try to choke me.”

“Choke you?  Why would - holy shit John!” Virgil  threw his head back. He was not expecting this…. This was quite possibly further than he really wanted to take it.

He glanced up in the mirror and felt like he was in some really dirty porn film, one where you could see both point of view and the back of the head of the actor doing the sexual acts.

Looking down he couldn't quite believe what was happening. Unlike those smutty films where the girls were all forcing it as far as it would go and as fast as they could handle, John was quite careful, Virgil swearing that it was just to tease him further. But it felt so damn good! John was a smooth talker at the best of times while on the job, but other than that didn't talk much to anyone these days. The fact that he had this…. This skill with his tongue….

He had to resist grabbing John's hair to make him stop teasing him and just get it over with. 

“Ohhhh fuuuuck….. John please, this…. This is too much!”

Virgil found himself begging now.

“Please Johnny…it's  getting harder to hold out.”

He couldn't. … not anymore.

He leant forward, grabbing John's shoulders and did exactly what he promised not to. 

It took a few really hard pushes, but that was enough for Virgil. He didn't even notice that John had managed to free himself and was coughing, struggling for air as things had been forced down his windpipe.

Virgil sat back up lazy, still dazed from the sudden release of tension from all over, not just from the obvious, but from his arms and his back… his muscles were all like jelly.  He snapped out of it when he saw John bent over double coughing rather hard.

“I'm really sorry! I couldn't hold it anymore!” he panicked, kneeling beside him.

“It's ok… I should've stopped when you said. That was my fault.” he gave Virgil a weak smile. “Feel better?”

“Yeah.” he lifted his brother's head. He could see John was overtired and still had a little bit of Virgil's kiss sticking to his lips. Clearly he didn't swallow, though Virgil wouldn’t have either given the sudden surprise if he was in the same position. There was going to be a great deal of scrubbing the carpet later too.

Virgil gave him a soft kiss, but was pretty content on just doing that over and over until John relented or brushed him away. John didn’t, not after what he just did. There was no point in becoming weird about getting dirty with his sibling. They'd gone pretty far already. 

“I don't think you can return any favors, Virgil.” he said eventually.  “I… I don't want this to stop, but I'm afraid that I just. .. don't have it in me like you do.”

“Are you sure?”

“I'm pretty sure.” John nodded, even a little uncertain himself. He looked over at the bedside table at the alarm clock. “Ah shit!” 

He got up too fast, stumbled and Virgil caught him in the way down. 

“Still light headed huh?” 

“You could say that.” John groaned. “I was supposed to be sleeping, now there's no time, I have to get back up to the station!” he tried again, this time Virgil helped him remain upright.

“I hate to break this to you, but you're going nowhere.” 

“I have to. It's a GDF - World Council meeting. The only reason we're still able to operate at all is because of all these silly negotiations. Sure, Penny does her share but not entirely on our behalf. I can't expect Scott to do all of that… he has enough stuff to worry about with you guys and the physical side of rescues…. He doesn't need paperwork.” John looked as though he wasn't looking forward to it. 

“It's quite boring, but has to be done. Being reminded of all the damage that is caused on our behalf is nothing when I can dig up tons of things and reasons why we're a valuable risk worth having. They want control over us though and I don't think Scott would keep his mouth shut if they brought it up in discussions.”

“What do you say when they do?”

“Nothing. I let the Colonel field it and it goes away. The GDF may not like us much, but we have friends in them at least.  I don't  think they like the idea of the Council pulling us to heel. Alot of countries still don't have adequate rescue services themselves, so it's safe to say they don't fully trust them.” John could see the confusion on Virgil's face. “Don't worry it makes no sense to me either sometimes. I'm just a holographic representation to them, they don't realise I'm not a computer generated image.. which isn't a bad thing. If they knew I was a real person they'd turn the GDF on me to drag me out of space. No one likes the idea that a machine can hack their satellites.... but a person? Id be locked up for sure.”

“Gee… didn't realise you did all that stuff.” 

John tried to shrug but almost fell over from dizziness. “I don't quite know what you guys all get up to on a rescue, I just hear things most of the time.  It's rare you guys need me for an entire mission, just only parts of it.”

“Well as I said, you're not going anywhere.” Virgil stood his ground. “Just once they can do without you and things will be ok. If it's an issue they can deal with Scott..and I’ll tell him why.  Truthfully he'd see it first anyway, you look a state.”

“I don't know Virgil…”

Virgil pulled gently and made his brother collapse on his own bed.

“How about I make it so you haven't got a choice in the matter?”

“Ha! Aren't you trying to do that already?” 

Virgil walked to the bedroom door and checked it was locked. Good. If what he was planning took all night it meant no one was going to walk in,  secondly a looked bedroom in regards to John meant he was actually home and needed serious,undisturbed sleep, something that was a rare enough occurrence that they let it slide. It wasn't a secret that coming down from space after long periods of time affected his health, even after the odd trip in Thunderbird 3 with Alan, if you were a casual passanger your be feeling weirdly drained for days…another reason why Alan was always taking cat naps around the house.

Virgil walked back over, climbing on the bed and sat on top of John's waist.

“Hey you're not about to fall asleep on me are you?”

“If I am? What are you going to do about it?”

Virgil smiled with a hint of mischief. “Oh I can do lots of things.” he leant over and started kissing John with more passion than before. Virgil was determined to get him to a stage where he at least had some sort of sexual function going on. There was no way he was going to let him do all that stuff before without something in return.

He ran his hands lightly underneath the oversized jumper, tickling soft skin with his fingers. He didn't try to fight John's lazy ones across the hairs on his chest and his sides. He was still naked, his body already openly free to touch and John's very light and playful mood caused him to shiver as if the room had suddenly gone cold.

“Fuck John, you're getting me all hard even before I can get you started!” Virgil found himself letting out a deep growling sound when they parted lips. “That ain't fair!”

“I tried to tell-” John started to say before he took a sudden sharp intake of breath. Virgil could feel his brother shift his weight beneath him as he shuddered under his fingertips. Maybe it was highly possible to climb the frozen heights of the spaceman afterall?

“John?”

“Don't stop…. Please don't stop.” John pulled Virgil's head closer so they had their foreheads pressed together. He was very slow but purposeful about it. “That was ticklish….. but I like it. No one has ever sent shivers through me like that before.” his eyes met Virgil's, a little pleading gleam in them. “More please, Virgil….please?”

Virgil grinned. “Sure.” he lazily repeated what he had been doing and got a huge amount of satisfaction watching John squirm a little under all the attention.

“How long has it been? I mean, since anyone touched you other than the standard brotherly cuddle?” Virgil asked, curiosity getting the better of him. It's not as if a relationship with his brother was going to go much further than tonight so it was worth finding out.

“Not… not since high school - Ah! FFFFT!” John tried to repress the fact Virgil had found a very sensitive area right under his ribcage. “Even then…. It didn't go very far. I couldn't do it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really - Ahhh! Virgil! Th-that really tickles!” John gave up trying to suppress any noise. There was no point. “You? When was your last time?”

“Besides you earlier?” Virgil slid the jumper up so the low light reflected off John's really pale skin, making him look like a white china doll. “I guess once when I lived working in New Zealand. Nothing that special. Not something that sticks in the mind, it was over pretty fast.”

“Huh. Guess this was really needed then?”

“Yeah.”  _ nice one _ , Virgil  cursed himself. _ Mood killer right there _ !

“Sorry it's me and not some pretty bird.”

“John…”

“It's ok. It's a one off thing, I know.... because we're  a bit desperate. Doesn’t mean it can't count,even if it's between us. I hope this doesn't change things….”

Virgil went quiet for a moment. Should he tell John why his love life might stay null and void from this point onwards?

“It was another bloke.” they both said at the same time. After the initial confusion, they both burst out laughing,

“Oh woah, that's funny!” Virgil muffled a snort.

“I didn't realise that was a possibility.” John flushed with embarrassment.

“John?”

“Yeah, Virgil?

“I don't want this to be a ‘one time thing’. I know that because  we're brothers it's wrong anyway, but it is better than the alternative.”

“And what's that?”

“Me wanking off alone in the shower the rest of my life and you not having any level of intimacy.”

“What if the others find out? We can’t hide this forever. There's too many people living in this house.” John paled more than usual. “I don't want Alan or Gordon finding out.”

“They'd be the least of our worries, John. Scott and grandma are who I'm worried about.”

“Oh right…Fuck I forgot about them.” 

“Probably because you talk to them the least… but I do almost every day.”

“Things couldn't be easy, could they?”

“Heh, maybe.” Virgil sighed and kissed him. “Right now, I've got a mountain to climb.”

“Huh? Wait,  you mean to tell me you we're going to leave me to rest after all of that?”

“Fuck no. You're the mountain, you dofus.” To stress his point, Virgil tugged at the jumper till John was free of it and then started running his hands all over, varying from gently needing into muscle, to light tracing patterns just to watch him wriggle and squirm.

“Agck! Come on Virgil! Stop being a tease!”

“Why when I know how I can conquer you?”

John looked smug and Virgil hesitated. Since when could he look sexy?

That was all John needed. The distraction was enough to roll himself on top of Virgil, his broad set shoulders sinking into the bedsheets, John's arms pinning his down into a pillow and assaulting his body with kisses, bites and slow flicks of his tongue. Virgil tried fighting back but his body was at John's  mercy. 

“Oh hell John, where'd you learn this?”

“Learn? Seriously?” John looked up and sniggered. “I've practiced doing this to someone over and over in my head. It's  been a long time, I do fantasize about things I'd like to try.. or have someone do to me.”

“Fuck… I'm going to make such a mess before I get my hands on you properly!”

“That's the idea.”

Virgil tried to physically push John off, but the taller Tracy remained put, caressing his skin with his lips and resting on Virgil's hips. Virgil swore there was no way John couldn't be aware of what he was doing, Virgil fully aware he was rubbing against tight satin boxers, trying so hard not to explode there and then.

“Nnnmmuhh….” Virgil let out when John blew gently on his nipple after focusing on it for what seemed to be forever. The coolness of his breath and the saliva left there was enough to drive him mad at the chills that were suddenly inflicted about his person. “You're more of a damn tease than me!”

John moved his weight mostly off Virgil so he could use his hands again and move lower down but Virgil was more determined than ever to take control. He roughly grabbed John and almost threw him underneath him, he was that desperate to turn the tables now, he couldn't even remotely be botherd to be subtle or gentle about it.

He pressed against John's hips, making sure he knew exactly what he was intending to do now he was on top.

“This is all your doing, John.” he purred possessively. “And I intend to fix it.” he didn't give him time to argue, he was quick and rather rough when he kissed him, pressing hard enough to indicate fighting him was not an option.  Virgil fended off his hands till John had got the message that he had done enough teasing and was now completely Virgil's to play with as he pleased. 

He could feel his body move under him as he snakes his hands harshly up and down his torso, and only let him utter noise when he had to stop kissing to breathe, only to press down hard again and use his tongue to explore his brother's mouth.

He knew he shouldn't be this harsh, but he really wanted to take him now, Virgil already on the verge of wanting to burst.

It wasn’t easy to try and get John's boxers off, but when there was signs Virgil wasn't having luck, John was nice enough to help in their removal.

“Unnh! Uhhh huh… not so hard Virgil…” John whimpered. Not having much activity down there for a long time left things extra sensitive, now there was a massive bloodrush surge due to hormones. “Ease up a little.” 

Virgil stopped to take stock of what his brother was like naked and fully aroused. “Fuck John...you're on fire down there!” he grinned as he carefully ran his fingers lightly down it. His grin widened as John's body reacted to it with an attempt at jolting Virgil off his perch.

John reached up and grabbed the sides of the pillow his head was on to try and stop himself shifting around. It wasn’t helping.

“Didn't realise you were so responsive, John.” Virgil smiled, delighted at the turn of events. 

“Uhh…” John  squeaked. ‘So responsive’ after so long was an understatement. He was feeling light headed and sensitive all over. Virgil could give him a foot rub and he'd feel like he wasn't going to last. 

Virgil was going to enjoy this.

Now… how did John do this before? 

Virgil lowered his head and started licking, but stopped when he realised that this going to be harder than he thought. He remembered what he tasted like when he kissed John's lips earlier and his brother didn't taste the same. Less salty? How was that even possible?

“Virgil… I don't think that's a good idea…”

“Why not?”

“I…. Uhhhh….can't control my responses.”

“That’s what makes it fun.”

“Virgil, I don't want what happened before to happen to you. That gave me a fright that I couldn't breathe.”

“You won't do that to me, I know you won't.” he gave John a gentle squeeze which made him gasp and grip the pillow harder. “Virgil….”

Virgil wasn't about to be swayed by his siblings pleas. Besides, he could do something John couldn't...pinning down places that would buck or kick him. Virgil was quite big and heavy - not fat by any means - but very well muscled that had been built up with great care to deal with the physical demands his role with International Rescue. He used to be the scrawny skinny kid in the family, and now by the looks of things, he and John had swapped bodies.

He took things slow, and that was plenty enough to have John struggle under his weight. Thank goodness no one else was home, otherwise they’d be trying to knock the door down with the sounds that John was making. Virgil had never heard anything like it either and was finding amusement in making him beg for mercy.

Eventually after enough teasing and fighting to stay on top of John's desperate attempts to escape, the pillow John was gripping struck him along side the head. 

Virgil pulled back and started laughing.  “I'm just getting started! You're alot of hard work you know that?”

“That's cause I'm sorta holding it….” John breathed out. 

“Then don't. Fair is fair,  I want to do this properly.” Virgil growled, emphasizing his point. “I want to know what you taste like.”

“For real?” John arched his back, fighting every urge to let Virgil win. “Before wasn't entirely intentional. I didn't expect you to do that to me and I had no choice in the matter.”

“Well I do and I want it.”

“I don't really have a choice.” John's voice was shaky, his throat dry. “I need to sometime….it's starting to hurt.”

“Far out, it's not supposed to!”

“Virgil, I could have the second you touch me down there...I had to or it wouldn't be any fun.”

“Huh. Well it wasn't my intention to hurt you either.”

“I know. I.. I have enjoyed the attention though.”

“I could tell.”

“Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

<

John licked his lips. “Do it.”

“You sure?” Virgil could see John nodd.

Virgil gave John one last look over and had to agree, it needed to happen and soon. He couldn't take much more.

Slowly, Virgil started to kiss before getting his tounge involved. He could see John heave and arch his back. There was no way he was going to last after this, Virgil had to be prepared to end this fun even though he wanted to take this far further than it had gotten.

“Vir...Virgil….uhhhh… nnnnnn ahhhh!”

Virgil felt the surge, John's whole body shifted, legs forcing Virgil to move as there was no way he could stop being kicked this time.

The pillow hit Virgil again, but this time it was to stop him from trying again. John was truly spent, Virgil would have been hard pressed to expect much more at this point. John was panting, unable to make anymore attempts to get Virgil off of him. 

Virgil crawled over and lay his head down next to John's, a goofy smile on his face. “You're a mess.”

“Your fault.” John breathed out harshly. He closed his eyes, too tired for anything else.

“Sort of sweet. Is that normal?”

“Huh?” John mumbled.  “Mmmmm not sure. Never tried tasting myself before...kinda hard, you know?”

“Pfft.” Virgil snorted. “You okay?”

“I'm not up for anymore if that's what you're asking.” ones of John's hand reached up and brushed Virgil’s messy hair which was now slicked with sweat. “Thank you.” fingers traced Virgil’s cheeks and his jaw. The feeling was nice, he didn't want it to stop. But all good things have to end sometime. Besides, there was always tomorrow now. There was no way John was clocking on another shift until he looked reasonable, Virgil was going to make sure of that. A few days rest...and a few days of him all to himself.

Still, there was something he could do right now, knowing later he will have it returned.

“Can you lay in your front?” 

“For a bit. I can't sleep like that though.”

“I'm sure you will.”

“Oh? Why's that?”

Virgil sat up. “Because I have magic hands.”

“Ha! Really?”

“Hey, I got you rock hard, didn't I?”

“Yeah… yeah you did.”

“Right, so roll over.”

John reluctantly obeyed, and Virgil sat up on his legs again.

“The tattoo is still there. Grandma give up did she?”

“I think she's forgotten. Not as if I get a chance to walk around without a shirt on anymore.” John mumbled.

“Looks like I need to fix it, there's  a huge scar running through it.”

There wasn't a reply. Virgil had started massaging his brothers back when he rolled over and had not expected John to fall asleep so fast. He sighed and lazily traced the rocket ship design and smiled. He was the one who did it after all when John  worked for NASA, one of Virgil's favorite art pieces - even if so few people ever saw it. The fact it was still there was testament to how hard john had avoided having their grandmother see it. Maybe he will ask for another? The thought made Virgil happy. Another thing for another day perhaps.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> added some art towards the end ;)

John was staring hard at his plate. He made his own breakfast this morning but he still couldn't bring himself to eat. A mug of milo sat beside it just as untouched. He was too busy thinking about last night, the parts with him and Virgil being far too intimate than they should have. He didn't regret it, but he was worried that things may get rather weird, not just between them, but with their other siblings….ok more so between them. Then there was the other possibility that had been eating him since waking up naked, with Virgil cuddled in his arms...the one where Virgil pretended it didn't happen and everything was normal...where it didn't happen again.

What could he do? If it was with another person finding advice on the matter would be easy. But they were brothers, and you couldn't just tell someone that you were thinking about how much you couldn't stop thinking about sexual activities with your sibling.

He was pulled out from his thoughts by a large wad of paperwork dumped on the table in front of him. His features frowned in annoyance when he realised what they were all for.

“You didn't sit in on that meeting last night.”

John looked up at his older brother, the king of spreading stress around with bloodshot eyes.

“Do I look like I could have and done another three week shift?”

Scott folded his arms. He looked quite imposing, he had the closest likeness to their father, the entire perfect body shape, chiseled and defined facial features and perfect complexion...where's John after seeing his reflection in his bedroom mirror this morning could honestly say he looked like something a cat dragged in half digested and then vomited all over the carpet. 

“What happened to your adamant demands that I spend at least one day a week at home minimum? That lasted what, six months or so?”

“Things are really hectic John, you can't control the demands of a rescue organization.”

“No. But you can with people who run it, it seems…” John sighed. “I routed everything to the house when I touched down. If we get anything we won't miss it.” Not like I send them all your way, he mentally said to himself. There's some really hopeless ones I avoid sending you to. Sometimes people are dead before you can even leave the launch bay. But no, dad spared you that job didn't he? Because he knew, he knew you couldn't handle it.

“You should've still been present. You know they occasionally say some dumb things and we're left cleaning up the mess with civilian casualties.”

“Scott, I'm not a machine that can run forever. Occasionally I need to rest.”

“Well that's easy, we'll get Brains to reprogram EOS and we'll give you a new job - helping up do the physical side of rescues.”

“Have fun with that,” John mused angrily. “If she shunts you out into deep space I'm not coming to your rescue.”

“I'm not looking for a fight, John.”

“Sure looks like that to me Scott.” John caved. “Don't worry I will read through everything, make my reports and let you know if anything interesting pops up.” he stood up, looked at his untouched breakfast that was quite possibly stone cold at this point. “Just give me sometime to get my shit together first ok?”

Virgil rolled out of bed and onto the floor. It wasn't the most graceful way to start the day, but he had expected John to be lying beside him. The fact that he wasn't had Virgil a little worried. His brother had been turned into a lifeless puddle last night and shouldn't be wandering around the house...unless…

It just occurred to Virgil that John hadn't eaten anything last night, and come to that neither had he. Right now he could eat one of Grandma’s famous shepherd's pies, famous because it was the one thing she could cook that didn't taste like dirt.

He rummaged through John's clothes and managed to find all of his oversized stuff that Virgil fitted in perfectly in everything but length. That was at least fixable in the pants, rolling up the leg bottoms was easy. The T-shirt however…

Virgil mused at how long it was. But then, John was the tallest, and had just as much trouble with finding clothes that fit as he did, resulting in quite a lot of their good dress clothes being custom made. Even John's space suit which was very tight wasn't intended for him to wear… it was designed for Alan, the other tall skinny astronaut.

His brother used to be pretty well built too, but stress, bad diet and extended periods in space made him shed so much of it there was any wonder there was much of him left. Sure, you change shape as you age, but that was pretty drastic. Virgil could remember back when John could lift him, Gordon (who was a bit on the chubby side) and Alan all off the floor for piggyback rides around the house, something Scott didn't like doing after accidentally falling down the stairs.

All these things he used to do with John, all shelved at the back of his mind because he was rarely around anymore.

But last night took the cake and left no crumbs in the floor. Virgil could still feel his hands all over his body, lightly stroking him, all those kisses and that tongue! Virgil was starting to feel hot and hard just thinking about it. But being pinned beneath him wasn't enough, not by a long shot. Virgil liked the funny noises and the way he reacted when he was all at his mercy. Sure sex noises are far from attractive, but listening to his brother beg… now that was.

Please… don't have been a once off thing.

Stepping out of the bedroom he saw John and smiled. He couldn't help himself, those thoughts were all making him want to grab his brother and make out in the hallway. He resisted the urge, his other brothers were home now and being caught was a very present danger.

“Morning, Starman.”

“Good morning Virgil. Sleep ok?” 

“Yeah, thanks to you.”

“I'm glad. Scott's in the kitchen, and looking for you.”

“Probably to tell me off for tracking mud everywhere.”

“Possibly.”

Virgil crocked his head to one side. “Everything alright, John?”

John sniggered. “No skin off your nose. Got chewed out for not doing my job last night, which by the way, was your idea.” he sighed, “There’s alot of stuff to do and I don't want to do it… not now anyway. I was planning on hiding in one of the guest rooms in the round house with some books and music for a while and enjoy the view. Paperwork be damned, it's not going anywhere.”

“Sounds like a plan. If Scott tries to make my life a misery I may join you.”

Virgil caught a small glimmer of a smile. “That would be nice. I'd enjoy the company.”

Virgil watched his brother head upstairs towards the guestrooms and observatory that hid the top of Thunderbird three's launch silo. Probably best place to hide really, there was three extra unused bedrooms up there, dad's old telescope and mum's scientific journals…. And it all lay up there, more or less forgotten… unless you were John. The fact he openly invited Virgil up into his little private hideaway was a big deal, since he usually spent time up there alone to ‘sort his head out’ which Gordon jokingly called it ‘crying time’ and the truth far removed from that. 

They all had their own private spaces in the house, Scott's was their father's desk and the pool table, places he would frequent if he needed to think. Gordon had the pool and the beach, some rescues needing him to exercise to make him too tired to have nightmares. Alan had the upstairs balcony for stargazing when he needed to tune out, Kayo had her father's garden further down the island's mountain and Brains had his laboratory. 

Virgil had Thunderbird two's hanger, his piano and his artworks to zone out or take his mind off things in private. Sometimes you needed to think things out yourself before running to your brothers to fix your problems.

After an hour of being chewed up and spat out by Scott while he carefully dissected his breakfast, Virgil headed up to the guest rooms to seek out some less volatile company.

He found John in the end guest room, the one with the biggest windows and the best view of Mateo island. 

He was sitting on the floor leaning on the glass, a book laying on his lap, headphones that Virgil had given him years ago on connected to an ancient discman that was sitting amongst a sea of cds. He was dressed in a loose singlet and board shorts, though those were rather too short for someone with such long thin legs.

Virgil was very quiet closing the door, he didn't want to break the perfection of something he may want to remember in detail to paint later.

There wasn't much stuff in the room other than a double bed and several piles of books. He picked up one that had no title and was surprised at its contents.

It was one of their mother's journals.

Virgil was only six when she died. He didn't get to know her very well other than she loved them. He was at the time, more his dad's son, along with Scott and Gordon. 

He did remember John doing more with them after she had gone though. But then their father was around even less trying to sort out family affairs so in a way it was as if their absence brought them together.

He knew John missed her...but not this much.

“I don't feel alone when I read them.” 

Virgil looked up at John again, but his brother was too busy looking out the window.

“You're never alone John.”

“I don't think you understand, Virgil. I know I'm not alone here with you guys. .. but there's times… times I don't fit in… or days where you all talk to me like I'm unimportant.” He ran his fingers over the book on his lap. “Reading these…. They make me feel that I do belong, especially on days where I can’t seem to believe what’s in front of me. I mean, I know we all have days where we all feel like mud and all….but there’s just far too many. When I can’t cope, I turn to mum...even if she’s never going to come back.”

He smiled faintly and waved Virgil over. “I try to be there for you guys all the time when you need it but sometimes…. Sometimes I don’t have that option. After helping you guys with your problems, your fears, your nightmares…. I can’t dump mine on you as well, not after you look so relieved to be free of yours. I really hate it when you guys think that my job is the easy one…. I mean, every time you guys go out on a call my heart sits in my throat.. I swear sometimes I don’t start breathing again till you guys are home in one piece… and unless there’s another emergency straight after or you guys needed my help I can be left in limbo about your safety for days.”

“That’s… That's’ when I need mum. Heck, that’s not even half of it.” John rubbed his eyes as Virgil walked over, scooted some of the cds out of the way and sat beside him. “But there's little comfort in reading these… they were written before we were born. I know she kept them afterward, but I can’t find any. Dad locked so much of her stuff away because he was so hurt by her passing I don’t think he ever realised we…. Or that one of us….”

Virgil wrapped his arms around John and pulled him close. “Hey, I know it’s not much, but you could come and talk, I mean, you're always there for me… I should be able to do the same right? Be there for you as well? It doesn’t seem right to be one sided.”

“That’s going to be a hard sell Virgil. I’ve been trying to sort my mess of a head for years. It’s going to take forever to fix, even with your help.”

“Let me try ok? If… if it doesn’t work well… I don’t know, I’ll think of something.”

They sat there for what seemed a few hours. At least, to Virgil whose bum started to go numb. He didn’t mind having John leaning on him instead of the window, the sun’s heat through the glass making his hair shiny in the light. John was content there in his arms, more than happy to sleep there if Virgil didn’t keep shifting around uncomfortably.

“What are you listening too?” Virgil asked. The music wasn’t very loud for John to be able to hear him so it was being played for ambience or just to try and create a mild distraction from his thoughts. The cd player seemed to be on repeat too, but whether it was the whole cd or one song, Virgil couldn’t tell. It was old technology from before their grandma’s time.

“Space Oddity. It’s to remind me that life is all about the journey and the unknown and taking the risk to find out what’s beyond.” He laughed. “Sorry, that’s probably really corny to a musical genius like you, huh Virgil?”

“Not really. Bowie was a bit of a musical genius. Not my thing, but you have to respect the guy for what he could create.” Virgil smiled. “You know my sort of music.”

“Do I? It seems to change quite often. Last time it was Mozart, on your birthday it was Ray Charles and yesterday when you launched Thunderbird two for the rescue to annoy Gordon and Alan you had Ben Fold Five filling the cockpit.”

“Wait, you heard that?”

“Virgil you didn’t turn the com link off on your suit for most of the rescue. I heard maybe way too much of what happened.”

“So you know we almost lost people.”

“Yeah, I did. You almost lost Scott too, but there’s no point cornering the wolf until you know it’s not going to savage your leg.”

“He will need some help dealing with that one you know.”

“I do, but better to wait till he’s good an ready. I’ve tried being direct with him before...being pinned against the nearest wall in anger and frustration is not how I want to have that conversation.”

Virgil shook his head. “I don’t know how you put up with that sometimes. I know he doesn’t mean to lash out but man, I’ve seen some of the bruises you’ve gotten from him over the years.”

“After all this time, you’d think I’d know better not to get on his bad side… but I have this thing… The famous Tracy family death wish.’”

Virgil burst out laughing. “I think we ALL inherited THAT!”

“Hey, Virgil?”

Virgil looked at John who straightened up. “Yeah?”

“Last night… are we still ok?” John hesitated. He had been thinking about it alot.

Virgil looked smug. “Want me to be honest?”

“Please.”

“I’ve wanted your hands pawing all over me since I woke up.” Virgil swallowed. “Not just your hands either… your lips, your tongue…Then when I walked in here and saw you leaning on the window basking in the sunlight…. I want it all.”

“Really? After all that you still want more?”

“Why? Don’t you?”

John slipped the headphones on to Virgil’s ears and adjusted them to fit his head so they wouldn’t come off easily. Virgil was suddenly engulfed in the journey of ‘Space Oddity’ and also had been set upon by John kissing him on the lips. Either John had turned the volume up so Virgil couldn’t hear him answer, or the music was part of it. The fact that John was kissing him and doing so with such care said all he needed to know that he felt the same way.

He reached around to cuddle him close, not that he needed to. John was pretty much on his lap, his legs straddled open across them, his hands performing the magic that Virgil was so desperate to feel again against his skin. It was bizarre, but the song was so fitting for this moment in time, Virgil could close his eyes and feel John’s fingers running up and down his body, moving from the front and across his back as if they were in tune to the music. Why had he never thought to try something like this before? Was it that all those dumb romance films that played the most un sexy, soppy garbage in the background when the couples were getting it on that made him this it was a bad idea? Well now it was actually happening to him… was he going to reconsider?

He was using his imagination in a way he never dreamed of. When the long shirt rolled up and he could feel lips being pressed against his belly button he knew that he was in a very special place, one that no one else will be able to replicate.

John was tracing the light grooves and indents of Virgil's muscles with his fingers, memorising how they looked, felt and moved. The ones in his arms that were trying to sneak under his singlet flexed and relaxed...and jerked in surprise when John ran his fingertips over them. Virgil tilted his head back as he arched and stretched, exposing his neck to be kissed, caressed and nuzzled. He felt one of the headphones shift off his ear a little bit and could feel John's warm breath against it.

“I was dreaming about you last night. How you moved when I touched you, how you enjoyed it when I explored you. The way your body is soft and becomes hard all over when I run my tongue across your skin… the way your hair smells, the way you taste…. Then watching you asleep beside me.., I didn’t want to get up. This morning with you lying beside me was different to every other occasion you've crawled into my bed….I don't know why… but it was. Not only did I want to have you naked beside me for as long as possible…. I was scared… worried that I'd taken things too far… that you'd wake up and never speak to me again because….because the only thing I could think about was you. More than just my brother….”

“I wouldn't have worried.” Virgil replied with a soft animalistic growl. “As right now the only thing from stopping me from pinning you against that glass and fucking you till you cry my name over and over is how much I am loving this attention you're spoiling me with.”

“Happy place?”

“Fuck John….I think I died and am in heaven. Is that too much?”

“I'd take that as a compliment. Need me to change the song yet?”

Virgil thought for a minute. “This is a best of cd, Yeah?”

“No. It has my entire David Bowie collection. Every single album should be on there.”

“Hmmmm. Is it wrong of me to ask you to take me to ‘Starman?’”

He almost died when John started to laugh. There was no sound like it that he missed hearing more and more as they grew older.

“Anything for you, Major Tom.” the ear muff was put back and the song was changed, lips were pressed against his as he was gently pushed into his back, allowing John full access to his body and whatever he wanted to do to it. 

Virgil could have fallen asleep the way John kneaded his hands into his skin, massaging muscle tissue as he went, but the nips, trails of warm saliva going cold down towards his belly button and the butterfly kisses that were very subtly making there way to his hips.

“Oh hell...ffffft!” 

John knew Virgil couldn't see his smile as he watched his broad set frame stretch and start to squirm from his position. It was beautiful to just see how much he was enjoying the attention. He wasn't as ticklish as John thought but that was ok, it meant Virgil wasn't going to knee him in the chest in surprise.

He slid the pants down slowly, kissing skin as it was exposed right up until they were off. He chuckled and shook his head, clearly even though Virgil had ‘borrowed’ his clothes he wasn't game enough to slip into John's tight satin boxers. John was going to really have to wash those jeans after Virgil's brief moment of going ‘commando’.

Now there was two things he wanted to do, now he was given the freedom to. One however, he was sure he was going to have problems with as he had never taken anything that far before.

How would Virgil take the news that maybe John didn't know absolutely everything?

He may have to come back to that, no sense stressing about suddenly inflicting any sort of ‘pain’ when he was busy trying to create a feeling of pleasure.

Virgil was clearly heightened by all the attention, so John made an executive decision. Stick with what he knew first… then grope around in the dark later.

Mouths were technically not designed to do this sort of thing, but ignoring the clicking of his jaw he still managed it, even if after the night before was still playing out in his head, the very real prospect of being choked was not going to hold him back. Virgil really enjoyed it so there wasn't any chance he was going to say no.

“Ah! Nnnnnhhhh oh fuck John….”

That was pretty much all the encouragement he needed. This required a surprising amount of skill and tongue flexibility to make it worthwhile, it was unique way to flirt if done right. None of that just in and out rubbish….pulling out and just lightly licking, running the tongue over flesh… the tease was just as important.

“I need you to teach me this….” Virgil breathed out as he panted. “What your doing….uhhhh oh hell….is...shit I need to learn just to show - Ahhhhhuuuhhhnnnnn…. You what you...you do to me.”

John kept going, despite the more desperate twitching and shuffling from Virgil.

“John… I don't think I can take much more…..”

Virgil gave in to John's teasing. There was no way he could fight it. Even when he thought it was all over, he was still being kissed and stroked gently which came as a bit of a surprise. He lulled his head to try and look at John, who was just sitting up just rubbing him down gently with his hands. Something was up… he could see it in the thoughtful look on his face.

“Something wrong?”

John shook his head. Well there was, but he didn't want Virgil to know that. It was now or never.

He ran his hands along Virgil's thighs, watching them raise off the floor. He made sure he was sitting in between them before he leaned forward and kissed Virgil on the stomach, while slipping out of his shorts and boxers. He then lay himself the length of his body, bringing Virgil’s face to meet his. Virgil removed the headphones as he was sure John spoke but didn't hear him.

“Can you feel that?” John repeated in a whisper.

Virgil didn't need to guess what he meant. John's hips were against his as the rest of him lay between his legs.

“Yeah… I do. Tease yourself too huh?”

“Maybe.” 

“What do you want me to do about it?”

John breathed out nervously. “Promise me that if I do anything you don't want me to… you tell me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Just promise me ok?”

“okay … I promise.”

John lifted some of his weight off Virgil, but didn't move from his position. He had to move one arm to hold one of Virgil's legs so he could reposition his waist.

Virgil's arms flung around John's neck, almost pulling him crashing down on top of him.

“Holy shit!” Virgil swore. That...that had hurt. He realised John was starting to panic, so he gripped him tighter. “Don't even think about backing out!” Virgil growled. “Give.. give me a minute.”

There was a whimper in reply. It dawned on him that it had also hurt John too.

“I'm. .. I'm sorry. I've never done this before.” John was shaking. “I'm. … not sure if I can really do this.” there was so much pressure around there now John was in danger of ruining everything before it started. “Seriously, I'm fucking hopeless in the one thing that probably counts!”

“Hey! It's you first go right? Don't be so harsh.” if the situation was different, he'd had lorded the fact John had no clue what to do over him beyond this point, but given the lack of interest in the general direction John had due to alot of things until now it could be forgiven. “We've taken things slowly till now… it's not like I'm in a hurry for it to be over. Let's do this together.”

Virgil curled his legs around John to support him and started encouraging him to continue by kissing him as harshly as he dared. He needed John to keep trying...he wanted him to keep going… to finish what he started. He used his legs to give him a nudge in the right direction.

“It will stop hurting as you go. It's not something guys should do to each other but hey, who said you couldn't either?” Virgil whispered. “If it helps, the one time I've done this, I was in your place.”

“Wrong time to bring that up, Virgil.” John mumbled, frustrated this wasn't going how he thought it would. As much as needed assurance that this was normal and ok, the fact that he was enjoying doing this with his younger brother was wrong and trying to ignore that fact had been easy….till Virgil reminded him that yeah he had actually had sex like this before with another person.

He put his forehead on Virgil's chest and came to the conclusion that this had to stop. He just couldn't do it. There was too many things bouncing around his head screaming that he was the worst sibling in the world.

He pushed himself off Virgil, much to the others confusion and surprise at how sudden it had ended, grabbed his shorts and boxers and headed out the room. Virgil couldn't move fast enough to stop him, he felt like goo stuck to the floor.

“John…” Virgil felt a little hurt. Maybe that was too far a line to cross for him. He was afterall, the one with the high moral compass in the family. Virgil knew there was times he did things he should feel guilty for and never regretted it even if it got him in trouble, but for John those things if the ever had crossed his mind were never acted upon.

He had to do something to fix things. Afterall it's got to really get to him that it happened in the one place he felt safe to be with his most dangerous thoughts. 

Gordon pulled himself out of the pool and sat on its edge. He always felt good after a swim. He took in the view of the house and the view of the ocean and smiled. It was nice to relax and not worry about a rescue call. Glancing around he spotted John with a wad of paperwork being slapped down on one of the tables, looking every bit like he was forced to work with his few precious hours on planet earth. He rolled his eyes and walked over.

“Don't you ever stop?”

“I did. Now I have to play catch up.”

“Pfft yeah sure, you sound like it.” Gordon smiled evilly. “Why don't you go jerk off in the shower or something? Cause you look super tense to me.”

“Fuck off Gordon.” John snapped. He avoided looking up as he knew that his younger sibling was dripping wet, half naked and had more well defined muscles than Virgil. John was quite afraid of himself right now and didn't want to find out he felt attracted to another one of his brothers. Dealing with the fact he still wanted to go back up to the guest room and try again was making his brain a mess.

So what if Virgil had had sex like that before? He knew he had as he told him. He couldn’t understand why at that very moment he felt insulted. Virgil didn't mean it at all… he was trying to be helpful. Why was he so…. 

Jealous. 

“Hey, Earth to Jonathan,” Gordon clicked his fingers in front of his face. “Come in Johnny! This doesn't look like you're doing diddly-squat. Even I can see that. Imagine if Scott saw you staring off into nothing.”

But John wasn't staring into nothing. He was staring at Gordon and thinking how much of an annoying little brat he was. Gordon frowned when he noticed a strange smile cross his brother's face.

Comparing Gordon to Virgil made him realise that even if he ever had a problem with himself about having an attraction for Virgil, he was only ever going to want to be with him and no one else. Especially if he was still thinking about other things that was involved with those feelings, like jealousy and wanting to do everything to please him just to make him feel special, with Gordon who thinks his body is God's gift to everybody standing in front of him for over ten minutes… then he was in it for Virgil pretty deep.

Fuck paperwork. He knew what he wanted right now, and that was to try again, him and Virgil, on top of the bed sheets. 

He stood up and marched himself back into the house, leaving Gordon to chase after paper that started to blow away in the breeze.

Virgil was looking out the window of the guest room, trying to work out the ins and outs of his brothers brain. It was fruitless as many people had tried, and Virgil was yet to realise that maybe something's about John should stay a closed book.

He could hear the thundering of feet and looked up to see John in the doorway of the room. He was out of breath although running up several flights of stairs would have that effect on a person if you're unfit.

“I'm sorry Virgil,” he blurted out, “I… I couldn't stop myself, thinking of you with someone else…. I got jealous.” he ran a hand through his hair. “I couldn't…. I couldn't handle it.”

“Woah, slow down John. You mean to tell me you ran out on me because you got a streak of jealousy?” Virgil looked surprised.

John took a deep breath with his eyes closed tight. “Pretty much. Cripes that sounds so stupid, but it's all damn true.” 

Virgil laughed. “Well remind me not to talk to sexy strangers at Lady Penelope’s next function we are invited to. There maybe fist fights.”

“It's not funny Virgil.” John frowned. “I really have no control how I feel when it comes to you.”

“So I'm beginning to notice.”

“You really know how to talk to a person when they're clearly having emotional problems, don't you?” John said sarcastically. 

Virgil sighed. “I'm used to putting up with Gordon and his own messed up attempts of a love life with Lady Penelope. In that situation humour works.”

“Yeah, well I'm not Gordon… and I'm not boring old Scott or childish Alan either.”

“Of course not.”

John slumped his shoulders. His own emotions….stuff he wasn't used to sharing or exposing to anyone, felt like they were being messed with again. He was barely handling them as it was… he didn't need to be toyed with as well.

Maybe… this was supposed to be a one off thing. Maybe this wasn't supposed to happen. But then what? That left him with feelings for Virgil that could never go away.

“Then what am I really to you Virgil? Because right now I'm in this for you so...so incredibly bad, that I can't…. I mean… I…” John hunted for the words but they failed him. “I've always cared about you guys… I'd happily take a bullet for any of you if it meant that you guys could keep being heroes and save more lives… but last night….you were more than the brother who paints beautiful works of art of raw emotion, or plays the piano with such concentrated passion…” he couldn’t hide the tremble that was creeping into his voice, “And before… till I totally fucked up everything...after talking to you and all… you were not just my brother calling me to talk about things that had gone wrong on a rescue like everyone else, just to have me listen while you talk to yourselves…. But someone that… maybe we could spend time together again… not like we used to, but… just…. Fuck I can't explain every single thing because there's so many….. just…. I mean every word when I say I care about you, always have. But it's far more now.”

“It's all my fault. I shouldn't have got stupid ideas last night… I'm sorry Virgil.”

Virgil was quicker this time, grabbing John by the singlet before he got the chance to flee. After all of that blurted out into the open, if John left now, he was going straight up to Thunderbird five and never coming down. After the state he was yesterday, Virgil didn’t want that. For a start, if anything happened in space there was no way John was in a condition to do anything, even if it meant his own life was on the line.

He pinned him to the door with most of his strength. “Don't you dare be sorry for that.” Virgil looked at John with as much honest sincerity that he had. “You should have just come forward and told me you felt that way earlier… but I sort of had a feeling…. John… I meant every word too. I always do when I talk to you. You're the only person I feel like I can be myself around and yeah you are the only person who listens, but that's not all you do. Ever since we were small, you were always encouraging us, inspiring us, telling us that we were all capable of being amazing. I wouldn't have kept painting if it wasn't for you or I'd have given up that piano every time I found a lesson that was too hard. You never once made fun of me when they had to put me through speech therapy and when I had all that trouble in university you always had my back. Sure, Scott's the oldest, but that didn't mean he was the one who looked out for us… when we really needed help. He only does so now because losing dad has forced him to step his act.” 

“You never had to do any of those things, and yeah I know most of it to start with was because we needed someone to step into mum's shoes a while….but you kept on doing it. Even now when you don't think you belong you still do so much that sometimes I guess we take for granted a little too much.” he kissed John on the lips. “If either of us are going to admit to being obsessed with the other it's going to be me.”

He didn't allow John any time to argue with him, instead taking control like he should have done before, really pushing home that his brother was not allowed to leave this time. Hands snaked under John’s singlet with a bit more force and intent than the last time. He wasn’t going to mess around, if he had to hurt him a little bit to keep him then that’s what he was going to do.

He pulled John away from the door roughly, closing it before kissing him again, pushing him towards the window. The sky was changing colours as the afternoon sun was setting and for Virgil it couldn’t be more perfect. He meant what he said about doing the dirty against the glass and he was going to keep that promise.

With his back against the window, there was no where for John to go. Virgil was pulling at the singlet to get it up and over John’s head and onto the floor as fast as possible. Once that was done away with he started to plunder his body, groping, rubbing, licking, anything he could to prevent John’s struggle to return the favour, as there was no way he was going to let him turn the tables on him.

Virgil’s hands slid into John’s shorts and under his boxers, roughly feeling him up as he stripped them away, and once he was standing there naked, Virgil paused, kissed John's lips before whispering, “Stay there.”

When John had been gone for a while, Virgil had gone off and grabbed his camera as if John didn’t come back, he wanted to take some photos from this high up, since he rarely got to opportunity to see this magnificent view. But now John was back… and Virgil had a better idea.

“Fuck….you look good there.”

“Uh… what are you doing with that?”

“Just stay there John. I want to take a few pictures.”

“What? You - You can’t be serious!”

Virgil smiled. “I’m serious. It’s not like you don’t have any nude photos in your room.”

“They were of You, Gordon and Alan in the bathtub… when Alan was THREE. And they were the only funny baby pictures I have that Grandma hasn’t nicked for her scrapbooks yet!”

Virgil rolls his eyes. “I’ve painted you guys at least once posed naked for me for University art classes. Taking photos isn’t that much different. Who’s going to know I’m working on another art project or not? I mean there’s a photo competition for the art gallery of Canberra in a few months and I haven't even thought about what I want to enter.”

John relaxed. “So.. you're telling me even if these are for your own private pleasures, no one's going to know the bloody difference?”

“Not in this case, no.”

“Don’t they have issues with.. I dunno… male erections? Wouldn’t anyone you know realise if they saw them? I sorta can’t hide that right now…..”

“That’s their problem… not mine. Right now… your just perfect.”

“Need me to pose?”

“Oh… I’ll move you around where I want you.” Virgil grinned. “It will be more fun for me.”

Virgil proceeded to take pictures, avoiding using the flash on the old instant polaroid camera as the shots would be ruined with it reflecting off the glass behind John. Occasionally he’d shift his brother’s body around, kissing him while he did so, as he wasn’t about to waste his brother’s body on just pictures. He had him posed with his head phones, lying amongst his cds, pressed up against the glass, tattoo on show... Every picture was set up to be as sexualised but subtle as possible… Virgil was an artist after all, he knew what was titillating and still tasteful.

There was one thing Virgil was enjoying more than just playing with John like he was a posable doll, and that was how even as the sun was almost set, the light from the stars and the glow of the moon illuminated John’s pale skin the light reflecting back off it…. And the expressions he got out of John after every kiss and touch when he shifted him around… If Virgil wasn’t turned on by any of it he may as well have been dead.

Eventually the camera had been forgotten, the photos that had come out left to dry on the bed… but Virgil wasn’t finished with John, not yet. He had him back against the window, against the starlit sky, making him beg and call his name… like he said he would.


End file.
